Interpersonal Communication Issue

Dear Professor Blackstone and classmates,

I will be sharing about an interpersonal communication issue I faced during my time in the airline industry. It was my first full time job and the first initial months were difficult for me. This situation occurred way back in 2017 and it was during a 6 hour flight to Xiamen. It involved my Cabin crew in-charge, one crew member and myself. Being the most junior crew on the flight, it was customary that I give way to my seniors. What I mean by that is, for instance, something as simple as drinking water, it was best practice to offer my other crew members first. Hence, hierarchy was present in any setting in the airline. 

It happened an hour prior landing into Xiamen. At this moment, the crew were preparing for arrival. I was in-charge of the Galley, also known as Galley Stewardess. One of my duties was to count stock of the bar cart where all the alcohol was contained. It was during my first few flights and I was still slow in completing my duties. As I was about to finish up, this crew member offered to bring the bar sheet (inventory list) to the forward of the cabin to my cabin crew in- charge. That was the last step before finishing up all my duties. At that point in time, I thought she was being nice and helpful to me. However, I was called up to the forward of the cabin and got shouted at by my Cabin Crew in-charge for “ordering” my seniors to do my work for me.

In the airlines, we were taught how to eat our humble pie. At that point in time, I remembered feeling very helpless and shocked as I did not understand how deceiving people could be. I was also too scared to defend myself. It was an eye-opening experience as I knew then that not every person that is nice to you has the best intentions as they could have a hidden agenda. Thus, in this case, my crew member wanted to appear competent to my crew in-charge by claiming untrue statements about me.

Thank you.


Sarah Elman

Comments

  1. Dear Sarah,

    Your experience is something I can relate to and I thank you for sharing it here. I would not fault you for what happened as it was beyond your control. I have heard stories on how the airlines culture is very different from other hospitality organizations. Nevertheless, I believe that this experience was an eye-opener for you. I would have reacted the same way in that instance. However, I feel that you could have apologized and mentioned that the other crew offered to help you and thought it was alright to do so. I am curious to know if your Cabin Crew in-charge and other crew member spoke to you about this incident after the flight. Otherwise, I am keen to know if it eventually got resolved.

    Cheers,
    Swathi

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  2. Dear Sarah

    I feel really sorry for you. I understand that you must be really upset with the situation as not only were you new but your senior actually did something like that to you. As much as one wants to prove themselves, they should not do it at the cost of another.

    If I was placed in your situation, I would admit to my mistake for allowing another to handle my work instead of doing it myself. I would also reassure the Cabin Crew in-charge that I would not make the same mistake and apologise for any inconvenience caused due to the situation. Subsequently, after the trip ends, I would let the Cabin Crew in-charge know that I really reflected on my actions and at the same time, allow him/her to know the actual happenings.

    I believe through this experience, you would definitely learn a lot. However, I hope that you do not let this situation get to you and not believe in other people's willingness to help you. Thank you for reading this comment. I look forward to hearing from you how it was resolved at the end.

    Warmest Regards
    Jeaine

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  4. Dear Sarah,

    I am sorry that you went through such a horrible experience. Personally, I would have felt betrayed by the actions of that sneaky and cunning cabin crew member. I would apologise for making the mistake of taking up a co-worker’s offer to help me rather than complete my own tasks as I am still new (lowest in the food chain). I would have also tried to defend myself by explaining what had happened to the Cabin Crew in-charge and confront the cabin crew member at the same time.

    Transparency and honesty are something I value the highly. During my previous work experience, everyone made it a point to update the group whenever they had completed a particularly difficult task such as deep-cleaning the ice machine. This allowed the person responsible to take credit for the work done by getting recognized by their co-workers and supervisors.

    If a co-worker is unable to behave like a decent human being despite my attempts to maintain an amicable relationship with them, I would try to avoid them as much as possible. People like these are like bad apples that can ruin the barrel. I hope that you would not encounter anyone like this again in the future.

    Regards,
    Afifah

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  5. Hi Sarah!

    I am glad to hear about your experience as a cabin crew. And I believe it must have been an unpleasant situation for you. I have also heard many stories from my friends about the hierarchy system in the airlines industry and how the juniors need to give way to seniors.

    If I were in your shoes, I think I would clarify the situation with the cabin crew in charge and politely let her know that my senior was the one who offered. I feel that by speaking up, it might allow your superior to see that you are at least defending yourself (in a gentle manner and not hostile) and you might not be bullied so frequently in future.

    Subsequently, I would apologise for my mistake as this might have always been the culture in the industry. Since I am still new to this, I would take note to better understand the hierarchy system in future and the culture of the airlines industry. Nonetheless, I believe you have learnt a lot about the industry and hopefully, you would know how to handle this kind of situation if it occurs again in your future job.

    I hope this helps and I look forward to hearing how you solved this issue.

    Best regards,
    Pei Ling

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  6. Hi Sarah,

    Thank you for sharing your experience. Although I haven’t had experienced this before but referring to what I learnt about conflict resolution styles, I feel that the best conflict style to adopt is the accommodating style in trying to solve this issue. In this style, one should give in and accommodate to another. Hence, I would recommend that you accommodate to the company culture and hierarchy. By accommodating to the hierarchy, you would be more mindful and accepting of it and would result in lesser conflicts and backstabbing.

    Warm regards,
    Hannah and Afifah

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  7. Dear Sarah,

    Thank you for sharing this interesting scenario, one that might be hard to imagine of flight attendant members. In it you give clear, relevant details in terms of the problem issue.

    I appreciate the detailed feedback you've received, too. We're only missing your final follow up to the discussion as the last step for learning here.

    Cheers,

    Brad

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