Formal Email: Self-Introduction
To: Mr. Blackstone
From: Sarah Shah Elman
Subject: Self-Introduction and my expectations of the BHB 2803 module
Dear Mr. Blackstone,
I am Sarah Shah Elman, a second year student from Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) currently undergoing a bachelor in Hospitality Business. I am writing to you to formally introduce myself and my expectations set for this trimester.
Prior to enrolling in this course, I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Aviation Management and Services (AMS) in 2016. During the 3-year programme, I had the opportunity to fly as a Silkair cabin crew for my internship of 6 months. After which, I carried on as a Freelance cabin crew for 9 months. This was my first exposure to the working world where I developed my interest and passion for service. I took a gap year in order to figure out what I actually wanted to do in my future. During this time, I was a server and barista in a Cafe which I still am very much a part of till today.
Throughout my professional and personal experiences, I realised my capabilities in communication would be that I am genuinely interested in knowing about the other party. Hence, open and honest communication is what I value each time. Therefore, this makes communication easier at times as it enables me to connect rather easily at first with the other party.
On the other hand, one of my shortcomings would be my lack of confidence at times. For instance, during public speaking in presentations as well as, one-on-one networking sessions with a professional. I tend to shy away and overthink my actions. This results in awkwardness and losing my train of thoughts when speaking on a few occasions.
I believe that this course will challenge me in overcoming my fears and fortifying my strengths through the weekly exercises and hands-on activities in class. I hope to be an effective communicator on both a personal and professional standpoint. I am looking forward to the upcoming weeks of class with much anticipation.
Thank you very much.
Best Regards,
Sarah Shah Elman
From: Sarah Shah Elman
Subject: Self-Introduction and my expectations of the BHB 2803 module
Dear Mr. Blackstone,
I am Sarah Shah Elman, a second year student from Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) currently undergoing a bachelor in Hospitality Business. I am writing to you to formally introduce myself and my expectations set for this trimester.
Prior to enrolling in this course, I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Aviation Management and Services (AMS) in 2016. During the 3-year programme, I had the opportunity to fly as a Silkair cabin crew for my internship of 6 months. After which, I carried on as a Freelance cabin crew for 9 months. This was my first exposure to the working world where I developed my interest and passion for service. I took a gap year in order to figure out what I actually wanted to do in my future. During this time, I was a server and barista in a Cafe which I still am very much a part of till today.
Throughout my professional and personal experiences, I realised my capabilities in communication would be that I am genuinely interested in knowing about the other party. Hence, open and honest communication is what I value each time. Therefore, this makes communication easier at times as it enables me to connect rather easily at first with the other party.
On the other hand, one of my shortcomings would be my lack of confidence at times. For instance, during public speaking in presentations as well as, one-on-one networking sessions with a professional. I tend to shy away and overthink my actions. This results in awkwardness and losing my train of thoughts when speaking on a few occasions.
I believe that this course will challenge me in overcoming my fears and fortifying my strengths through the weekly exercises and hands-on activities in class. I hope to be an effective communicator on both a personal and professional standpoint. I am looking forward to the upcoming weeks of class with much anticipation.
Thank you very much.
Best Regards,
Sarah Shah Elman
Dear Sarah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise letter of introduction. In it you cover the scope of the assignment and provide some detail on your background, a communication stength and weakness and some goals for the module. As I read about your experience in the initial section, I wondered what it was that motivated you to feel an 'interest and passion for service.' Could you give a sentence or two of explanation? Also, I wondered how your work as a barista compared to being a cabin attendant.
In the latter portion of the letter, where you discussed your interest in the 'other party,' I wondered what it was that factored in that process? Curiosity? Something relational? Or something more transactional/instrumental?
Then there's the fact that you mention having a lack of confidence, especially in terms of 'public speaking in presentations as well as one-on-one networking sessions with a professional.' In our class I note a certain reserve, not really shyness, but a hesitation to put yourself forward. Is that part of this?
I'd certainly like to see you become further engaged in our classroom discussions and to have you be even more willing to share. In short, I'd like to see you come occasionally out of your comfort zone.
In terms of language use, this letter shows good fluency with a few exceptions:
1. sentence structure
-- After which, I carried on as a Freelance cabin crew for 9 months. > After that, I carried on as a Freelance cabin crew for 9 months.
-- For instance, during public speaking in presentations as well as, one-on-one networking sessions with a professional. > (sentence fragment)
2. overuse of capitalization
-- a bachelor in Hospitality Business >
-- as a Freelance cabin crew >
-- in a Cafe >
3. vocabulary/phrasing
-- as a Silkair cabin crew > as a Silkair cabin crew member
-- Hence, open and honest communication is what I value each time. Therefore, this makes communication easier at times as it enables me to connect rather easily at first with the other party. > (overuse of transitions)
-- to connect rather easily at first with the other party > to connect rather easily at first with other people
4. punctuation
-- during public speaking in presentations as well as, one-on-one networking sessions with a professional. > (unnecessary comma)
-- I was a server and barista in a Cafe which I still am very much a part of till today. > (missing comma)
Please don't allow this criticism to eclipse my appreciation of your effort with this letter.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Mr. Blackstone,
DeleteWith relation to your question, being a cabin attendant of SilkAir was my first full-time job position. That experience was challenging but it allowed me to discover my passion in serving others. Towards the end of the internship, I found myself actually enjoying the job more than I thought I would.
I love coffee. Therefore, naturally, I wanted to learn more about it. Additionally, I wanted to work as a part-timer in a more relaxed environment while still pursuing the F&B service industry. I enjoyed my time there very much and still continue working there as of now.
I tend to be quite reserved when I am not familiar or comfortable in an environment. I will also try to be more engaged in class discussions. Curiosity plays a big part as to why I take interest in talking to new people at times. I hope I have helped answer some of the questions.
Thank you for taking the time to correct my letter.
Best regards,
Sarah
Thank you, Sarah, for the detailed responses. You have an interesting perspective gven your rich work background.
DeleteI do hope your comfort level rises in our class and with the group as a whole. What can I do to make the environment in class better?